And, every time, I want to pull my hair out. Worse, I know one of two of these talk radio hosts is doing it on purpose; they know darn well the Volt goes 40 miles on electricity, and then another 320 miles on gasoline. Leaf does not. But, because GM is Government Motors, some on talk radio use Volt as a halo car… to attack government ownership of American auto.

Ends don’t justify the means here, but that won’t stop people from intentionally lying about the Volt. So, GM has to step in and nullify that themselves.

Yes, I’ve heard GM is trying to trademark Range Anxiety ahead of a massive PR blitz. Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s enough.

GM must, and yes I say must, quickly and strongly emphasize in ads that Volt does what I emphasized in the paragraphs above. That should constitute a major part of their advertising, and that should be the only thing communicated in many of the ads.

Americans are already getting a false impression about Volt. Negative first impressions can destroy superior products. GM cannot and must not let this happen with the Volt, or when Volt is actually economical for most customers… they’ll go for a plug-in Prius instead.

After the Pontiac division was deactivated, many thought the Zeta platform was going to be phased out. In fact, Ed Whitacre was quite clear on that when he referred to Zeta as being ‘dated’ and obsolete. Originally, GM planned for all future rear-wheel drive platforms to be based on the upcoming Alpha platform.

However, it appears Whitacre was saying one thing and designing another. Zeta now appears to be undergoing a redesign based on the R&D learned from Alpha, and will share the lighter, more fuel-efficient qualities that Alpha had. That’s not to say that Zeta really needed a redesign… in my opinion it blazes past the Chrysler LX and Ford D2C platforms already.

Now, with talk of both a Buick and Cadillac getting Zeta sedans, things get interesting. Add on top of that Holden testing mounts for the twin-turbocharged Ecotec engine inside the original Zeta (the Commodore VE/VF), and things get really interesting.

If you haven’t heard of the twin-turbo Ecotec, it’s because of poor marketing on GM’s part. That I4 engine gave the Solstice GXP up to 290 horsepower, helping to make Solstice the best-selling roadster in America. Alpha is a perfect fit for future Solstice replacements, likely a retractable hardtop built in the Solstice image. That car will probably land on Buick in retractable hardtop fashion for ~$35,000. While that’s $10,000 more than Solstice, it’s far less than a BMW Z4, with a free retractable hardtop thrown in.

Deciphering all this information, here’s how I see things rolling out. The following is based on the engines that GM is testing, and the CAFE standards they will have to accommodate.

Chevy Caprice – Based on the Commodore VE and Pontiac G8, this will be a short-wheelbase version for consumers. It will ship with the twin-turbo Ecotec and an optional V6 (likely the GM LLT Engine, same as Camaro).

Chevy Caprice PPV – Already announced, based on the long-wheelbase Holden Statesman. Same engines as Camaro.

Buick Grand National / Park Avenue – This one could go either way. If it’s a Grand National, it will probably be a rebadged Commodore. If it’s a Park Avenue, probably a longer-wheelbase Statesman rebadge. Either way, it will match Caprice PPV with a V6 standard, and optional V8.

Cadillac ZTS – Okay, I came up with the name… Zeta Touring Sedan. This is where things get interesting. With the ATS and CTS filling the “low end” of Cadillac, GM can price this vehicle with a standard V8 engine, and make the ZTS-V their new top dog. 551 horsepower enough to make you forget the Pontiac badge? Probably not, because this will likely be one of GM’s most expensive vehicles to-date. A ZTS could land for around $50,000 and a ZTS-V could be in the mid $70,000s.

Again, this is analysis, but not speculation. Holden wouldn’t be getting the R&D bucks to worry about fuel efficiency this much if there wasn’t some intent to take these cars to America. And, with three or four engines to chose from, GM can badge engineer in a sensible manner… free from the likes of Fritz Henderson and their “not a car guy / not a fan of rebadging” mentality.

My one suggestion for GM, follow the lead of Holden. Take the Pontiac badge and make it a premium option for high-end Chevy cars. A $2,000 body kit with an ECM tweak for more horsepower is nearly pure markup for GM. Chevy dealers will have no problem pushing those kind of upsales… especially with not having to worry about inventory.

I have suspected from day one (literally), that GM plans to offer the Caprice within a couple of model years after its police-trim launch. This would allow GM to continue to have a RWD, non-luxury sedan, and give Holden a major shot in the arm with production until the Alpha platform is ready.

And, with that, I’ll show you the first appearance of the Chevy Caprice PPV… “detective unit” trim. This was originally meant to be an “undercover” trim, until GM realized that anyone looking for undercover cops need only look for the one car on the road that civilians cannot buy… the new Caprice. Realizing that mistake, GM now markets it as a car for detectives, instead of billing it for undercover use (used G8s work great for undercover work in that case).

Click to enlarge…

If only they’d market it as what it should be; a long-wheelbase Pontiac G8. Hey, Holden sure does over in Australia.

Holden Commodore Sportwagon SS V Series Special Edition… if only American GM would match Australian GM.

What is an Emergency Mode? At first I wasn’t going to re-state this, but I feel it’s necessary based on the unawareness that I caught in this article’s comments. Essentially, this only applies to E-REV vehicles like the Volt. An E-REV is a car that is primarily electric, but can also recharge its battery via an Internal Combustion Engine (ICE). You charge your car using a standard 110V or 220V outlet, and after about 40 miles… the car fires up its ICE and the battery recharges via gasoline, as you drive.

The moral hazard here is that, in order to ensure that the all-electric battery lasts a full 10 years, you never drain the battery down to zero. After about 40 miles, you still have (on a new battery) about half the capacity still charged. In theory, you could drive 80 miles without using gas… but that would do too much damage to the battery.

Well, what happens if you’re out of gas, and you’ve driven 40 miles. Let’s say there’s a hurricane bearing right for you… or a tornado… or some maniac that wants to kill you. Your car has the power to go another 20, 30, even 40 miles to safety… but it won’t let you. It’s designed to just shut down and sit there. And, you’re going to die in that type of situation.

I was pretty surprised the last time I talked about this, some idiots actually rationalized that “well, you should die in that case, it’s your own darn fault you got into that kind of situation.” There’s no getting through to those kind of people, much less trying to show them how a situation that could arise through no fault of your own.

Once again, as I’ve noted in the past, this doesn’t work with hybrids like the Toyota Prius or Honda Insight. Single-mode hybrids cars like these have very tiny batteries, that would only run for a very short distance without gasoline in the drive-train.

Some also complained about the potential for abuse, that some motorists would hit the Panic Button and engage the battery frequently… doing damage and voiding the warranty on the Volt’s battery. I showed GM how they could easily take advantage of the OnStar modem, inside every Volt, to send a signal to OnStar every time the Panic Button is pressed. After three strikes, the battery’s warranty would be voided. Plain, simple, and safe.

Unfortunately, few have taken up this cause, so here’s my call to arms. Tell GM you want an Emergency Mode on the Volt. Your safety in a dangerous situation is important enough to engineer this simple solution.

In case you’re wondering… what will I buy if the Volt lacks this option? Well, the Pontiac G8 GXP, as a pre-owned car is probably the direction I’m heading in. Half the price of the Volt, and twice the performance. Sure, it won’t be all-electric, but it is a Pontiac… and that’s better than the put-puts that GM is going to be churning out. I would have liked to buy a Chevy Caprice, but Bob Lutz didn’t get his way…

Now, I will point out that this guide takes into account some assumptions. It assumes Bob Lutz’s most recent Volt pricing projections are correct. Second, it assumes legislation that has not yet passed Congress, will indeed pass.

Essentially, we’re going to combine multiple government welfare (oh snap, I said welfare) programs, to bring the Volt down from its $39,999.99 price tag (they’d tack on a 9/10th of a cent if they could).

First, we’re going to take the government’s $7,500 tax credit for the Volt into account. GM doesn’t yet know how this is going to work with financing. It’s possible that they’ll write up two loans, one of which being a $7,500 loan at 0% interest… which would be due upon receiving your tax refund check. That would keep the loan for the car, separate from the loan for the tax credit.

The price is now $32,750. How do we get to $28,000? Cash for clunkers.

Cash for Clunkers (you may have heard of it in the past) is a government welfare program, aimed at getting clunkers off the road, to cut pollution. It uses about $4 billion of that $787 billion TARP bailout (which again, was for banks… to save the economy… from evil, dirty, inequitable capitalism…). Basically, it requires that you have a car which gets an EPA city/highway combined estimate of under 18 miles per gallon.

Plus, the new car has to be under $45,000. That’s fine for the entry-level Volt buyer, but options can easily push the price tag up a few thousand. Be careful, I doubt dealers will negotiate on a car that, if there was a sales line for early-adopters, would resemble an iPhone launch.

Oh, and the clunker has to be registered for over a year. That means if you have a car collecting dust, now is the time to pay a few hundred bucks and get it registered. I can’t promise the law won’t change in Congress before it’s passed, but as it stands now, all the car has to be is registered for 365 days.

So, when it comes time to buy the Volt… well, there’s a problem there too. See, Cash for Clunkers only lasts for a year, from when it is signed into law. Let’s say it gets signed into law in two months (it could get passed sooner, or later). That’s mid-August. How many Volts are going to be in-stores in mid-August 2010? Zero. No, GM doesn’t expect to have them shipped to customers until late Q4. And those will sell out almost instantly. Most people who want Volts, will have to wait until 2011 for their orders to be filled.

That’s the one unknown about Cash for Clunkers. If we “buy” a car, which hasn’t been built yet, does the program apply? Or, do we have to actually take ownership of the car within the program’s period… in order to get the discount? I think this will depend on how much GM pushes for it. Remember, the car makers support this program because they claim it will help sell new cars. But if the world’s first mass-production electric car can’t benefit from the program, then this is just going to push people into cars on the lots right now.

In fact, GM had better be careful with Cash for Clunkers. Let’s say the bill gets tweaked, and the Volt is somehow exempted. If I can get $4,500 now for my clunker, I might as well go get a Kia (from the car company for hamsters), and get the Volt after that car dies. Why waste a $4,500 bailout credit welfare check, especially when the Volt will only go down in cost later on?

Some have asked me if you should take a test-drive of the Cruise, as a means of getting acquainted with what the Volt will have. It’s a logical question, considering that GM has already announced that the Cruise and Volt are so similar, that the Cruise will likely be the first non-Volt model to inherit Volt’s E-REV (Extended-Range Electric Vehicle) technology. However, I don’t suggest using the Cruise to get acquainted with the Volt… too much. The Volt will only be a four-seater, but will have a lot of the external and internal features. Also, the Cruise will undoubtedly be more powerful, leading some to feel let down when comparing it to the Volt (and no, I don’t know what the difference on handling will be, sorry).

Anyways… I found this funny because MechaWorks just finished its first hardware prototype. Just a few months away from showing it off.

So, a lot of people have picked up on my theme of asking why GM won’t sell Pontiac. There are eligible buyers, and they want to buy the brand for fair market price. So, why not sell?

At the time, I blamed the Obama Car Czars. And, I still do. After all, they rejected the (reasonable and sound) GM Viability Plan, which would have made Pontiac a niche brand.

But, I have a new suspicion, which I hope you won’t consider a conspiracy theory. I suspect that GM’s board decided that Pontiac could be mothballed, and brought back after the government and unions sell their stake in the company. Both have said they intend to… who knows if they actually hold true to that promise set of words.

This makes a lot of sense when you consider the positioning of Pontiac, as opposed to Saturn. Saturn was created to be the un-GM, the Devil’s Advocate in GM if you will. Unfortunately, Saturn failed at being that. Saturn even axed their own polymer door panels, and basically became a reseller for GM Europe. Model-wise, Saturn and Chevy became indifferent. Not so with Pontiac.

Government Motors hates Pontiac. It shows muscle, flare, passionate driving. Government today hates all that, it’s un-American (but only in their view of America, GM knows the consumer’s view of America is much different).

GM has brought back brands before. Most recently, GM’s commitment to killing the Camaro… that didn’t last either.

And, best of all, Pontiac 2.0 could be built without the posionous, deadly union contracts. The dealers? Most of them sell Buick, Pontiac, and GMC as a trio. As such, the scaled back set of dealerships could add back on Pontiac when the brand returns.

Do I see this happening as fast as Camaro’s return? Probably not. But, I also think GM is looking to the future when they aren’t beholden to outside control. Hopefully they won’t screw it up.

Not only did GM flatly tell me to drop dead by announcing that they had no plans to resurrect profitable Pontiac cars under another GM brand, but they just made an even more pig-headed announcement. They’ve stated that they won’t sell Pontiac, even in a Saturn-like deal where a consortium of dealerships buy out the brand.

Worse, such an offer was (and still is) on the table. A good one too, from what I hear. It appears that the federal government’s Auto Czar Committee doesn’t want to look bad, by having these brands spun off… and then watch them become successful under private leadership. I can’t see any other logical reason to refuse to sell brands that will be otherwise shuttered.

GM cites “brand identity” as being too costly for GM to deal with. Playing devil’s advocate (as best I can here), I guess their argument is that, unlike Saturn, most Pontiac dealerships sell other GM lines. But, even that doesn’t really hold water, since that’s something the Pontiac dealerships accounted for in their offer. I would assume that accounting entailed an agreement where Pontiac would adopt similar customer experience policies to GM, making customers feel transparent to the brands, regardless of owner.

Now, the last thing I want to do is call this deal dead, it isn’t… yet. GM says a lot of things, and has to go back and correct themselves later. That’s part of GM’s problem… and the Obama Administration is not helping by countermanding decisions left and right. The dealer (representing the group of dealers that submitted the offer), Jim Waldron has yet to receive a formal rejection… this is mostly PR spin from press people, and may even be grandstanding.

Why am I feeling it’s becoming more American, to buy anything but Chrysler or GM?

But, I’ll try, try yet again. With the recent demise of Pontiac, and selloff of Saturn, my new advice to GM is simple: Shut these assets down the right way.

Take Pontiac. Granted, a lot of its models didn’t sell well. But, there were some diamonds in that ruff. Like the G6. It’s a very easy-to-configure car that was selling well (up 25% this past quarter according to some of the figures I saw). What’s to say that you can’t sell a Cadillac G6, or a Chevy G6?

Please, spare me the union/management FUD. There’s not one person out there who can tell me that you can’t take those plans, those factories, and put a different GM-owned brand on them.

And Saturn. Same there, Saturn could become a Best Buy of cars. Flat sales prices, but with a broad range of cars. Take some of the models over to them and make them exclusives to a new Saturn brand. Who cares if Saturn re-badges a VW Golf? I don’t… mostly because I wouldn’t buy a Golf under any name. But, that’s the point, Saturn can handle popular models that GM might want to sell off-brand.

Do I think they’ll take this advice? If there’s anything I’ve seem from them thus far in the era of Government Motors… I doubt it.

The Volt’s battery is designed to last for the life of the car (10 years or 100,000 miles). As such, it stays constantly charged. In fact, when only about 20% of the battery charge is drained, it discontinues EV-only mode, and turns on the Internal Combustion Engine (ICE) to recharge the battery. Still, this gives you 40 miles per trip (so you can drive to work, plug in, and drive home… for a total of 80 miles of gas-free driving per day). That’s a good thing.

But, there’s a moral hazard in this. What happens if you run out of gas? The battery stays at least 50% charged at all times. There’s nothing technical from preventing the battery from powering back on, and letting you get home or to a gas station to refuel. Of course, if you do this, you hurt the life of the battery each time… quite significantly, when you’re considering the battery has to last a decade.

So, the question now arises, will the Volt have an emergency mode? Will it have a panic button that lets you power on the vehicle, outside of operating specifications? That’s something that GM says they’re mixed about internally. They realize that there is interest in an Emergency Mode, but they also realize that they have to warranty the battery for a decade, and that this mode will be abused by some (careless drivers who run out of gas a lot).

So, here’s my proposal. I haven’t seen this proposed elsewhere.

Having an Emergency Mode is essential, I don’t even want to debate that. If you’re in a natural disaster, or in a dangerous situation… it’s just as bad as a derelict cell phone that decides to update brick itself. So, give users a little bit of leeway, but set requirements (in the Volt’s computer) for voiding the warranty.

Here’s how it would work. Lets say you run out of gas. The Volt’s computer pops up with the option to continue driving, but notifies you that you can only do this five more times. After that, the warranty on the Volt’s battery is voided. This allows users to chose… they can wait for a tow truck to give them gas, or, they can hit the panic button and keep going.

Once all five incidents are used up, the Volt would connect to OnStar (since all Volts will have OnStar), and sends a notification that the user has exceeded the allowed number of Emergency Mode events. GM then updates the warranty status on their computer, to note that the Volt’s battery is now out of warranty. The Volt will then continue to allow Emergency Mode, simply the user is now out of warranty. Of course, only the battery’s warranty would be affected. The rest of the warranty would remain intact, since this method of operation doesn’t impact other functions on the car.

Really, this could be in GM’s interest to offer from a financial standpoint. Well, first, GM wouldn’t have to worry about wrongful death lawsuits (stemming from people killed in situations where an Emergency Mode could have saved their lives). More key however, it would give GM a way to strip warranties from users who abuse their batteries.

And, this wouldn’t be hard to do at all… all the technology is there. I’m going to put my foot down and say that if there isn’t some form of Emergency Mode, I won’t be buying a first-generation Volt. Hopefully Chevy will listen.